Only in India!

Look who came walking down our street on Friday!

Yup, a full-grown elephant all decorated up for a wedding.

Life is full of surprises here.

We also went to another wedding this week accompanying one of the ladies we had for Christmas dinner.

It was quite the affair, with a huge tent full of good things to eat—this is just the dessert plate.

Indians really dress up in their fancy clothes for weddings.

This one even had clowns performing—but no elephants.

We never saw the bride or groom since we left a little after 9 and most weddings actually happen in the early hours of the morning. It would be interesting to actually see the ceremony sometime.

We got to do the mission apartment checks last month. There are 2 apartments of sisters and 7 apartments of elders. We liked this sign in one of the apartments.

And several apartments fed us while we were there—how kind!

These fellows know how to cook!

And outside of one of the apartments we spied this watch dog—now that is what I call magnifying your responsibilities!

A couple of weeks ago on Preparation day, Elder and I decided it was time to go see some more sights. We knew that most places are closed on Mondays, our P-day, but we went downtown to see the Parliament Building,

the President’s home,

and India Gate. How could they close outside monuments? Little did we know that 8 days later was Republic Day, a really big national holiday celebrating India’s Constitution. Celebrations include a parade downtown—so the mall connecting the sights we were wanting to see was blocked off! They were already securing the place and making preparations. Well, we did take a couple of shots from afar but I’m thinking we will have to go back again.

Elder and I attended an Inter-faith all-day conference at a college where he got to light a candle along with the other speakers (Tibetan, Catholic, Jew, Bahai, Muslim, etc.) and speak for a few minutes about our church. He showed the 5-minute video about our basic beliefs. https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2013-02-1020-what-mormons-believe?category=missionary/introduction-to-mormons&lang=eng. It was a great experience.

The mission president and his wife recently returned from another trip to Pakistan and gifted us (as they say in India) a small brass nativity from there. They learned over Christmas how much I love nativities so of course I love it and still have it on our bookshelf!

We continue to visit people in their homes, both active and less-active members, plus those just learning about our church. Here is a picture of a family with 7 kids, the oldest one married so not in the picture. The next-oldest is mother of the 1-year old who bonded with me. The widowed mother works a double shift as an in-home aide trying to support her kids, but only earns about $50/month for her unskilled labor. We are standing on the top of their apartment building since the electricity had gone out (it does several times a day here).

People are so protective of us! Here are our 4-security guards, members of a family we had just shared FHE and dinner with, walking us out to meet our taxi. They kindly spoke to our driver to make sure he knew where we lived, and then asked us to call them and let them know we had arrived home safely. We are spoiled by the care of the members here.

We have been told that this is the winter that wasn’t here in India—it has been very mild. And already it is warming up into the 70’s during the daytime. We certainly hope that isn’t a harbinger of how summer will be. Stay tuned.

Reflections on India

We  have  been  here  for  3 months  now  and  it's  time  to  share  some  thoughts  and  observations  of India.

The  traffic:  When  we first  arrived  I was scared  often  while traveling  on the  roads. I would  close  my  eyes  when  I  saw  cars driving  on  the  wrong  side  of  the  road. I noticed that  cars would not  stop and  look  before  turning or entering, and  there  was  constant  honking  of  horns. No one traveled in the marked traffic lanes, often squishing 5 or more lanes of cars and motorcycles into a 3 lane road.  People  would  cross  streets, even  busy ones, just  holding  up  their  hand asking  the  traffic  to stop for  them .  Even though none of that has changed, some of my perceptions have. I now see how  everyone watches out for  everyone  else and tries their  best  to  not  hit anything or anyone. Yes, city traffic  is  usually  slow  moving, thank goodness, so reaction  times are  adequate, but we have seen  very few accidents and we are on the roads  quite  a  bit. In fact my natural  tendency  when crossing a multi lane road is to cross as quickly as possible   (run) but I   have  been  advised to  just  walk so the approaching  drivers can  more accurately  judge  where I am going and when  I  will be there. I admire the amount of cooperation required to travel the roads here. The drivers are constantly yielding the right of way to others. But they do use their horns a lot!

The weather: We arrived at a good time of the year weather wise. People  say  this  year  we really  haven't  had  a  winter, it's  been  so  mild. It can feel  cool  when there  is  90% humidity  and  it's  only  about  50 degrees  or so, but most days have warmed up to around  70—pretty comfortable. Some  people  we visit  don't  seem  to  have  any  space  heaters, as there is no need for anything more than that,  so we may feel a bit chilly and keep on our jacket, but that is the extent  of  it. But we are hoping that a warm winter doesn't mean a warmer summer since we've been told it can be 120 degrees by April—stay tuned.

The people: Indians are a pretty amazing group, and very helpful. Quite often in our adventure of finding yet another address of a member, our driver just pulls over to the side of the road and asks whomever is there.

There have been many a time when we even have the member on our phone and the person on the side of the road gets to talk to them and tell our driver exactly where to go since they are usually more familiar with the exact neighborhood. We appreciate their assistance and make sure to say, “Thanks!”

The people here don’t seem to complain—at least not in English! One missionary shared, just as he was completing his 2 years here, that what he admired most about the Indians was that they don’t need much to be happy—just food and clothing and shelter and family and they are happy. It does seem to be true. I see some carrying what seems to me as pretty heavy loads/burdens (both physically and spiritually), and they just do it. Pretty amazing!

Elder and I are getting spoiled, I’m afraid. For example, we ride the metro quite a bit.

There are seats along the sides, but most people end up standing in the middle. There are a few seats with signs over them: “For ladies,” or “For Senior Citizens or Differently Abled,” or a more general, “Give your seat to someone who needs it more than you.” Now if we are only going on a short ride, I don’t mind standing. But sometimes we’re on for 30-45 minutes (and if going from Dwarka to Noida it is a 75-minute ride) and a seat is really quite nice. Usually someone takes one look at me and offers me their seat—and often someone gives Elder one as well. Once in a while, there is a man who tells someone to give me/us their seat(s) and that’s ok too. We don’t really think of ourselves as “senior citizens” though I’ve heard the definition here is over 60, so I guess we are. But we do tell people that back home we aren’t considered old yet. However, life conditions are harder here and so people do age quicker I think.

We have now attended a couple more memorial services as well as an actual burial, though it was a Christian burial. It was interesting to watch the family cover the grave with flowers, lit candles and burning incense.

We have been the only non-family members at some of these but have always been treated with great respect, given seats to sit in and invited to speak at two of the three. In fact at one, we said our goodbyes and thank yous and tried to leave before the dinner, but to no avail. The family insisted we eat with them, and waited on us hand and foot while we did so. (The expired person was the father of a church member whom we home teach with the rest of the family attending  a variety of different churches.) After dinner, two college-aged young men who knew English (the entire service had been in Hindi) escorted us to the nearest Metro station, only a few blocks away, but since it was about 8:30 at night, we accepted their help gratefully. They chatted pleasantly with us and made sure we got to where we needed to be. In fact most of the people we go visit escort us to our auto or taxi and ask that we let them know when we arrive home. How kind! ( Here is a picture of one family we are working with whose son is a member but they are not yet.)

In closing I will relate one conversion story we were told just yesterday, an example of the kind of experiences these people are having. This story begins about 8 years ago when the man had just finished 12^th Standard (12^th grade) and decided he wanted to become a pastor like his uncle. However, when he approached his uncle for some references, he was told to wait one year first. He told us of seeing LDS missionaries around but not knowing who they were or why they were there. Then on his birthday (Aug 27), he met them at a bus stop and talked to them briefly. They gave him a Book of Mormon and invited him to read Alma 32 or 34. He went home and told his mom about them and she said that maybe the Lord had a plan for him. However, he threw the Book of Mormon on his bookshelf and ignored all of the missionaries’ phone calls. Then one day when he was home, the electricity went out and he was bored. He looked over at the book shelf and saw the Book of Mormon and picked it up. Now he had a habit of taking his Bible, thinking of a question and then opening it randomly to a page and reading for his answer. One question he had was why the missionaries said he had to get baptized again since he was already a baptized member of another Christian Church. So he picked up the Book of Mormon and randomly let it open. It opened to 3 Nephi so he turned to chapter 27 verse 8 (in honor of his birthday, the 27^th of August) and started reading. It starts off by talking about the name of His church and then the need for all to repent and be baptized in His name and endure to the end. Well, this brother couldn’t believe how clearly it answered his question and more! He called the missionaries and set up an appointment to be taught. He was baptized before too long, followed by his siblings. A bit later even his parents joined the church.  He went on a mission, serving up here in New Delhi, then returned home in southern India, baptized his girlfriend and now they are married and expecting their first child. They recently moved into one of the branches we are supporting and he is a great help as Branch Executive Secretary. The Lord truly is preparing so many of the Indian people to accept the Gospel and its message. 

In short, we love being here! It is truly amazing!

The Work

I thought perhaps I should share some about exactly what it is Elder and I are doing day to day on our mission—what part of ‘missionary work’ do we do?

We are called as Member Leader Support missionaries. Before I start describing our core work, let me first define some terms. Our church’s congregations (200-500 people) are called wards and usually 6-10 wards combine together to make up a stake—all these are geographically determined.  Each ward is led by a bishop and each stake by a stake president. Here in New Delhi, there are less members of our church so the smaller congregations are called branches led by a branch president and the 7 branches combine to make up a district led by a district president. All these positions are filled by lay priesthood and some with just a few years of membership in the church. Our mission president is over the three districts in Pakistan, the one district in Delhi, as well as the branches in Nepal, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Kolkata, and Mumbai. He and his wife visit each of these places several times a year, being gone for up to 2 weeks at a time. 

We have been assigned to two of the seven branches here in Delhi, Noida (with only about 80 members and 12 attending) and Dwarka (with over 300 members and 80 attending).

Our core work involves working with the branch presidencies and other branch leaders, encouraging them to hold all their leadership meetings and teaching them their purpose and how to run them. We teach other leadership skills and encourage them to love and visit the members. We also visit members in their homes, many of whom may not be regular attenders, listening to their story, and inviting them to join us again. There are also a few people we have visited who are not yet members but are still learning about the church and who have invited us to come. (Here is a picture of a Noida branch activity.)

Delhi is a huge city with a metropolitan area of 25 million people. Our flat is somewhat centrally located, right next to the mission home with its lowest three floors home to 2 of the 7 branches. Each of the other branches’ meetinghouses are located about 30-45 minutes from here in good traffic and at least double that in bad. And travel within most of the branches’ areas can add another 30-60 minutes to our initial travel. We travel often by those green & yellow autos in good weather and during the day. We usually call a taxi if it’s cold or dark. We also travel by Metro—Delhi’s train/subway system which is very inexpensive, very frequent, at times extremely crowded, but still under construction in some places so doesn’t go everywhere we need to go. We also ride electric or bicycle rickshaws if it’s a short distance, like from the Metro station to a home.

Often we call the person we’re going to visit and have them tell our driver how to get there, especially since our driver’s English is usually as good as our Hindi. And this week one member came to guide us to their home on a motorcycle and all three of us rode it back to his home, me sitting side saddle right behind him and Elder behind me--similar to this family on their way home from the branch Christmas party--and yes, they are all on one motorcycle. It’s all part of the adventure!

Most people love to tell us how they first came to know about the church and it is for social reasons most quit coming—either pressure from extended family members or lack of fellowship from church members. A few have taken offense from something that happened years ago, and then we have the privilege of listening, absorbing some of their pain, and inviting them to forgive and join us once again. We find this work very rewarding, but also both emotionally and physically draining.

As the only senior missionary couple, we are also involved in a few other things. We are members of the District Self Reliance Committee and are excited to support this program. It teaches principles of both spiritual and temporal self-reliance and has classes to help participants find a job, start a business, or obtain needed education/training. We are hoping to play a bigger role by facilitating classes ourselves plus training more facilitators so more people can benefit from this powerful program.

I have begun handling the applications requesting assistance from the Temple Patron Fund for anyone in our mission, with most members in Pakistan going to the Manila Temple and those from India going to the Hong Kong Temple.

Without assistance from this fund, most members could never afford the trip to be sealed as a family.  As it is, most couples/families pay several month’s salary, saved over a couple of years, as their part. Once at the temple, they stay in the patron housing and attend many sessions over their 4-day stay. They are also encouraged to bring family names with them, so they get the complete family history/temple experience. For many, their trip to the temple is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It makes me realize how blessed we were to have a temple in our stake boundaries!

We also do a bit of Public Affairs, attending an Inter-faith dinner this past week and being asked to attend a day-long conference later this month representing our church and even making a short presentation.

We also hope to increase our involvement with the Young Single Adults in the area and may end up teaching an English class as well.

Christmas Day

I must first include a picture from the Dwarka Branch's Christmas Party on December 23. The Primary did the nativity story, so look closely for an angel, Mary, Joseph, wise men and shepherds. It was delightful! Sorry the man in front of me stood up just as I was snapping my picture. 

Christmas morning was spent with the missionaries, mainly doing a service project of tying 45 fleece blankets to give away.

Then we had two single sisters over to share some food and time with us, Melanie and Mary. Melanie was baptized 7 or 8 years ago along with one brother and active for a while, but her Catholic father soon forbade her to attend so she stopped coming until just a month or so ago. She lives with one of her sisters now, since both of her parents are now expired, but her sisters were in London for the holidays. Mary shifted from Nigeria (people here don’t ‘move’, but ‘shift’) four years ago with her family. However, her father expired suddenly from a heart attack about 6 weeks ago, her mother had to go back to Nigeria, her brother is at BYU-I and her sister on a mission. We enjoyed having them with us. We had a simple but sweet Christmas.

I was surprised that Christmas Day is a holiday here, and public schools are closed for 2-3 weeks starting December 24 so some people still have not returned.  However, I just took down our little tree and put the few decorations we had away for next year (including a sketch of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus by our artist friend Dev).

For us, the New Year has begun and we are excited to discover what it holds for us.

A little bit of this and some of that

This blog post is a catch-up one with a smattering of topics, some with pictures, some without.

Christmas in India

Last time I showed you the beautiful completed nativity outside the mission home. But of course I’ve had to do a little decorating of my own for I love Christmas. I brought a few small decorations from home which along with a couple of pop-up Christmas cards soon found a home on our shelves.

The previous senior couple invited us to use their small Christmas tree and I quickly turned it into a photo tree with a picture ornament of each of our grandkids and the star with Christ at the top. However, all the ornaments are on the front as I can’t think of putting any of the grandkids where I can’t see them every time I pass by. It is kind of interesting to not hear lots of carols and see lots of decorations, but India is only 2% Christian so there aren’t many of us celebrating Christmas here. Elder and I even went exploring the nearest indoor malls—only a couple of miles from here—and there were just a few decorations there. Plus our home branch came and sang to us--even bringing Santa!

That said, we did attend our first branch Christmas party last Saturday and it was a lot of fun! It was out in Noida (Dwarka’s is tomorrow night) and included spiritual thoughts by the Branch President, the narrator, and (surprise!) Elder Allen (who was given a few minutes notice this time, but not many). Then we had a talent show, games (like decorating a human Christmas tree),

a yummy Indian dinner, a visit from Santa,

and a photo booth with lots of props for fun pictures! It was supposed to start at 5, we were ready about 5:40 but waited for someone to arrive for another 10 minutes. We were among the first to leave at 10 pm! We did help clean up some waiting for the taxi, but figuring that we had come at 3:30 to help decorate the tree

and set everything up, that’s 6.5 hours of fun!

We were tired when we got home at 11, especially knowing that we had to be on the road in the morning by 7:45. Good thing we’re young at heart!

Two weddings and a funeral

We have been invited to two weddings and one funeral so far. The first wedding was between two members of Dwarka Branch—the Sunday School President and the daughter of the Young Women President. Now no one from either of these families have attended church since we have been here since they were so busy with wedding preparations. But when we had called to see if we could come meet them, we were invited to the wedding. We went with the junior missionaries and were kind of excited to see what their wedding would be like. In India everyone has to be married civilly before traveling to the Hong Kong Temple to be sealed. All Hindu weddings are in the evening and since the groom is the only Christian in his family, it was to be a Hindu wedding. The Hindu priest consults star charts and tells the couple what day and time they should get married.

We arrived a little before 8 pm and met the family minus the bride who was in an upstairs room. We also met a return senior missionary couple who had come back from Canada for the wedding. We were served nice appetizers and chatted with a few people from the branch. After almost 90 minutes, all of us missionaries left, since we needed to get home. We were a little disappointed not to have seen more. However, we spoke with the senior couple in church that Sunday and they left the wedding at 1:30 am and the groom still hadn’t come. I guess they got married at 4:30 am. Wow! That makes for a long night!

This last week we finally were able to meet with the family, including the newlyweds. They shared that they had known each other for a year and a half and she had introduced him to the church. His Hindu family likes her and is supportive of him being a member so that is good since that is not always the case. In fact, right now they are living with his family.

The other wedding we were invited to attend was just this last week. The bride’s older brother is a member, a graduate of BYU, married in the Salt Lake Temple, and living in Utah. We went to visit with the bride-to-be and her parents a couple of weeks ago. She was excited about her upcoming nuptials, of course. We asked how they had met. She said that she was 29 and ready to be married but had no real prospects. Her parents consulted with a Hindu priest who looked at her charts and shared that her charts showed she was a good match with this other person looking for a marriage partner. So they met and liked each other. The families met and felt good about it and made the necessary agreements. The groom lives in Bangalore, down south, where the couple will live after the marriage. The engaged couple have talked some on the phone the last couple of months but that is about all. Unfortunately we already had a commitment the night of their wedding, although I’m not sure we would have stayed late enough to witness the actual wedding this time either.

The funeral was for a member of the Dwarka Branch in her mid-70’s, whose daughter is also a member of the branch. She was in the hospital her last week and we had arranged to go visit her there on Tuesday when we received word that she had ‘expired’ (as they phrase it) Sunday night. She was buried Monday and the family held a memorial service in the alcove outside their home on Wednesday night. They had spread large blankets on the cement and also had a tarp suspended over the area. I would guess there were about 50 people there, sitting on the blankets with a few chairs for the older people--Elder and I are old over here so thankfully got chairs. It seems we were waiting for a few friends to arrive who were stuck in traffic. The 6 junior missionaries from the branch were there and we all were asked by the family to sing a few songs, which we were happy to do. Then the assembled group sang several songs in Hindi until the expected guests arrived. A member of the church conducted the service although a preacher from another church gave one of the talks and Elder Allen was called upon in the moment to give the other. Surprise! Someone translated for him since most in attendance didn’t know English. He later shared that he wished he had at least looked at his notes for funeral talks before going.

Qutb Minar

Two weeks ago on P-day, Elder and I went to Qutb Minar, the highest stone tower in India,

and the accompanying Muslim mosque. It was built in the twelfth century and is quite impressive. I particularly liked the carvings

and also seeing green parakeets flying around and climbing on the walls.

It is only a 30-minute auto ride from our home. The admission is very reasonable: 10 rupees for natives and 250 for foreigners. At first that looks awful, until you realize that 250 rupees is about $4. We spent about an hour exploring it all

and bought an English picture book about it for another 100 rupees ($1.50). We hope to find the time to do a bit more exploring around Delhi.

Hard Realities and Sad Stories

We have now been here long enough to know some of the hard facts about India and have heard some pretty sad stories. For example, one of our branch presidents told us that the average wage in his branch is about 20,000 rupees a month ($300). Now we have been spending that much on food and transportation just for the two of us! And we’re not eating much meat! Another church leader shared with us that to be comfortable in Delhi, a family ought to earn at least 40,000 rupees a month. And there are homeless all around you, with little shelters all over the place—by this electric substation, by the nearby shopping area—and I even heard one Indian proudly say, “And our rich and poor live right next to each other.”

I am also surprised to hear of how many of the native junior missionaries have already lost one parent, usually their father. One has lost both parents and all grandparents, and he and his 3 siblings have been living on their own for the last several years. I know of a few members who were raised in an orphanage. And at least two of the junior missionaries have no home address to send their Christmas letter to. Death comes earlier here than I am used to. People have a hard time believing Elder and I are in our 60’s and still so active! Life is hard here and takes a toll on their bodies.  That said, the Indians I know don’t complain. Family is important to them. They work long hours for what I think is dismal pay. In fact, some domestic workers work full time for as little as 1500 rupees a month. It gives me food for thought! 

Closing Thoughts

We found out this last week that the next senior couple called as an office couple and supposed to arrive next month are now visa waiters and will hopefully make it by March.  Also, in the next few weeks, three more junior missionaries will go to the Philippians on a visa renewal run. We hope they make it back. We were so blessed to get our visas on time and multiple year ones at that so we don't have to renew them. 

We want to wish you all a very merry Christmas. We are happy to be here in New Delhi--there is definitely much work for us to do in sharing the good news of the Gospel, inviting all to Come unto Christ, and strengthening the members and leaders in the district! We love the people here, we love the Lord, and we love the work. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers on our behalf. We can feel them! Life is good and India is amazing!

  

The Nativity

As I mentioned in the last post, us missionaries were involved in a service project on Thanksgiving (and before and after) of making a nativity at the mission home/office for the members in the district to enjoy this Christmas Season. There were three parts: the figures, the stable, and the lights for up tree trunks and in bushes.

We decided to cut out life-sized figures from plywood, prime them, paint them, and stick them in the ground via back supports and stakes. While we were priming the figures, a YSA branch clerk in the district who just happens to be a self-taught portrait artist came by and offered to help us with the figures. 

He sketched in everyone’s clothes and what color the missionaries should paint them. Then he came back and did the faces and the lines and shadows that brought them to life. 

He also helped make the angel fly and the star glow, and did the lettering for the scripture sign. We think he did an amazing job!

One of the missionaries designed our stable but due to the rules about missionaries not using power tools, we hired two carpenters to help saw the wood and drill the holes. The Elders tried to assemble it but the manual screwdrivers just weren’t up to the job. They did enjoy helping to raise it up once the carpenters had it put together.

A couple of days later one of the branches donated six Indian bales of hay for the stable, not rectangular ones like I was expecting, but each about 12 or 15 feet long. It was decided to use them to make a thatched roof and again, just as we were tying the straw down with twine, a YSA walked by who had helped build this type of roof and helped us use a couple of extra 1 x 2 on top of the straw to hold it down securely. How appreciated and timely!

The main challenge with the lights is that each string had to be individually wired into one of the outside lights, with each outside light being used for only 4 strings. We used blue lights at the bottom of the tree trunks with white lights higher up. Most trees just had lights up as far as the Elders could reach, but again we had a few YSA come and help. Also we put white lights in bushes around and behind the stable. We must have used at least 60 20-meter strings. It’s not quite like Temple Square in SLC, but it’s pretty!

It opened on Monday night, December 7, with a YSA choir singing carols, followed by a missionary choir. The Christmas videos the church as made the last few years were also playing on a monitor nearby. The display will stay open every night through Christmas, with carols being sung Mondays and Christmas Eve. We hope a lot of members come and enjoy it with their families and friends.